Immigrants will receive a letter signed by Trump: "Thank you for participating, now leave."
Merciful Border.- The Supreme Court has just granted Donald Trump permission to remove half a million immigrants from the country, but not before personally writing them a farewell letter.
The letter, which will supposedly be drafted by the former US president himself, should be warm enough so that people don't suffer the trauma of being deported overnight.
Trump will do everything possible to make deportation a smooth processThe Supreme Court on Friday again cleared the way for the Trump administration to strip temporary legal protections from hundreds of thousands of immigrants. https://t.co/NuPWuiwCW4 pic.twitter.com/fQBeA8UI1V
— ABC Columbia (@abc_columbia) May 30, 2025
"I'm not a monster. I don't take anyone out of the country without first sending them a letter thanking them for visiting us," Trump clarified after receiving the court's approval, while holding a gold feather and posing in front of a flag with fireworks in the background.
The central message of the letter seeks to "soften the emotional blow" of forced displacement with motivational phrases such as "Make your own country great again" and "Yours was a visit, not a residence," among other pious expressions that migrants can read during the return trip to their country of origin by plane, bus, or catamaran, depending on availability.
In addition to the humanitarian letter, the New Yorker will give each person a limited-edition, signed, and numbered collectible card depicting the border wall. "A gem for fans of global Trumpism," commented one advisor wearing a red cap and tears of pride.
The White House is expected to release a video any moment featuring Trump himself dedicating a few words to former immigrants. The video is expected to include instrumental music by Kenny G, dim lighting, and a backdrop of eagles flying in slow motion, as if the Discovery Channel had been hired to film a geopolitical rupture.
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